The Parrot

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A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It 
doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what 
happened to this parrot?" 

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a 
defective parrot." 

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually 
understood and answered me!" 

"I 
got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent 
thoroughly educated bird." 

"Oh 
yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch 
without any feet?" 

"Well," 
the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my 
weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of 
my feathers." 

"Wow," says the guy. " 
You really can understand and speak English can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion." 

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that." 

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!" 

The guy offers $20 and wa lks out with the 
parrot. 

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted. 

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the UPS man." 

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy. 

"When the UPS man delivered  a package 
today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie." 

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?" 

"Well, then the UPS man came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her 
all over," reported the parrot. 

"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?" 

"Yes.  Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...." 

Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?" 

"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day

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911BUG Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List PFC Joined: March 15 2008 Location: Out of Area Online Status: Offline Posts: 147 Topics: 11	Quote Reply Topic: The Parrot Posted: September 23 2008 at 2:52pm
	A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot." "Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird." "Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?" "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers." "Wow," says the guy. " You really can understand and speak English can't you?" "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion." The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that." "Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!" The guy offers $20 and wa lks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the UPS man." "What are you talking about?" asks the guy. "When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie." "WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?" "Well, then the UPS man came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot. "NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?" "Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...." Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?" "Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!" If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day
	Dear Lord, Please keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over... my mouth